Monogamy is uncommon

As that is what is expected by society, then it must be the normal way. Except that we all know that for the vast majority of people, monogamy does not work out. People cheat, divorce, have successive relationships, etc., etc. Yet, it is still the norm of society, although with compromises that were unthinkable just a few decades ago, with, first, divorce leading to serial monogamy and later same-sex marriage. Both of these compromises are still not recognized or allowed by many religious groups.

So, why is society so obsessed with monogamy that most countries have laws to enforce it? Even though, as we learned above, monogamy has been uncommon throughout history the world over and has become the societal norm only in very recent times. It was effective to grow population to recruit armies (Romans figured that one out) and generate economic benefits to the rulers who choose to enforce it (European kings of the MIddle-Ages). It is so recent in human history that it is not in any original Buddhism writing or in the Bible (aside from Genesis, but that’s also where the first mention of two wives is found). Quite the opposite as the Bible, for example, is very explicit about some of the prominent characters having several wives (700 for Solomon along with another 300 concubines for good measure). Getting followers to adopt monogamy came much later in time, at about the time where Christian religion got mixed with the European powers of the time. Yet, it only became broadly accepted as a social norm in the late 1800s. Before that, even the word monogamy was not commonly found in writing. The words “monogamy” and “monogamous’ started to emerge in books around 1860, peaking in the 1990s, and declining thereafter.

Can we guess what will it be in, say 100 years? We can probably predict what it will be in two generations, say 50 years. Monogamy will not be denounced as a social practice, but will it will most certainly have lost all of its officialdom status, which is already happening now with divorce laws and allowance for same-sex unions. As formal marriages will also become an out of fashion practice remaining only among the most conservative religious communities, monogamy will simply lose the importance of its status and will not be replaced by polygamy as the very concept of dictating the format of relationships in officialdom will be outdated. Thus, monogamy, as a formal and official societal norm, will have lasted less than 200 years, barely a blip in the scale of humanity.

References good to read: